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A Table for 4…

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and only one seat was occupied.

If there’s one thing I can say I’ve never done, it’s eat alone at a restaurant. The idea used to absolutely scare me (well, I guess it still does but maybe not as much/as bad). I don’t know what it is about eating alone in public–maybe in the back of my head I think people are judging me and think I’m a loner. At home (Canada home), I’ve had almost every meal with either my family or my friends. The only time I would eat alone is if I were at home and no one was there. When I was working, I wouldn’t even go out for lunch unless someone was joining me. Or I would buy my lunch and come back to the office to sit with my colleagues.

I’m really trying to break out of my shell–break down the walls that I’ve built up–and become my own person. A stronger person. Someone who isn’t afraid. Someone who is more open to new experiences. I need to stop caring so much about what other people may think, because at the end of the day it’s my own happiness/satisfaction that’s most important (and I really needed to eat). I could’ve bought a sandwich and finished it while walking, but I forced myself to do this. I need to stop having my friends/family as a security blanket. I need to be able to do things for myself and WITH myself. We spend so much of our time doing things for ourselves that we never actually do anything with ourselves. I’m definitely on a path of self exploration and discovery.

In the end, there was absolutely nothing wrong with sitting at a table and enjoying a meal…alone. Yes, I had my phone to keep me company, and I managed to get online to link up with my family and friends, so, I guess in a way I was still eating with someone. They may not have been there physically, but they were still there. It’s the physical presence, or lack of, that I struggle with. But I realized today that it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. It was all just something I built up in my head.

I’m actually figuring myself out. One step at a time.

Stay fabulous!

P.S. The burger and fries were absolutely DELICIOUS! Bacon, avocado, blue cheese, lettuce and red onions on a homemade char-grilled patty, and some house fries on the side. Salivating yet? I thought so.

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